“Who’d win in a fight, pirates or ninjas?”
“Oh, that’s easy, pirates, for sure.”
“Nuh-uh, ninjas would totally kick their asses!”
“No, the pirates would destroy the ninjas!”
…
We’ve all probably played this game at some point in our lives— ‘who would win in a fight between x and y?’
A number of filmmakers have tried to answer these questions over the years, pitting various cultural icons against each other in battles to the death. This top 10 list will list 10 of the weirdest movies in the ‘versus’ film genre.
Captain Berlin vs. Hitler
Hitler is one of the most famous tyrants in history. Born in Austria in April 1889, he rose to the top of the German political system, eventually becoming the ‘Chancellor of Germany’ and leader of the Nazi party in 1933. Based on a play, the 2009 film ‘Captain Berlin vs. Hitler’ saw the Nazi leader facing off against ‘Captain Berlin’, a genetically altered super soldier fighting for the anti-Nazi resistance. The film, directed by b-movie legend ‘Jörg Buttgereit’, is an entertaining b-movie experience complete with hammy acting, cheap costumes, and plenty of dutch angles. With an absurd premise and a surprisingly captivating storyline, it’s one of the best (and weirdest) movies in the ‘versus’ genre.
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
‘The Asylum’, a Los Angeles based film studio, has made a name for themselves by making cheap rip offs of giant Hollywood blockbusters. Some of their ‘hit’ movies include ‘Transmorphers’, ‘Atlantic Rim’, and ‘The Terminators’. The Asylum also has their own low budget ‘versus’ series that sees all manner of weird and wonderful creatures facing off against each other in epic battles to the death.‘Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus’ is the second movie in The Asylum’s ‘versus’ series. The film follows ‘Mega Shark’, fresh off his victory over ‘Giant Octopus’, as he faces off against ‘Crocosaurus’, a giant crocodile with a thirst for shark blood. Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is an awful film. Its crude special effects looked dated when the film first released on DVD in 2010, and they look even worse today. The film’s directing and screenplay are also terrible. With a 2.5/10 rating on imdb.com, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus should be avoided at all costs.
Wrestling Women vs The Aztec Mummy
‘Wrestling Women vs The Aztec Mummy’, released in 1964, was one of the first films released in the ‘versus’ genre. The film, directed by Mexican director René Cardona, saw the evil Aztec mummy Xochitl facing off against a troupe of ass kicking female wrestlers. Wrestling Women vs The Aztec Mummy is a rare gem that’s ‘so bad it’s good’. It features cheesy acting, a poor script, and pedestrian directing, but the film is wholly entertaining from start to finish. It’s a must watch for b-movie aficionados, despite its 4.0/10 rating on imdb.com
The Holy Virgin vs. The Evil Dead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb_mS67wTE8
Donnie Yen is one of the most famous and beloved martial arts stars making movies today. His performances in cult classics ‘the IP Man’, ‘Hero’, and ‘FlashPoint’ will, without a doubt, be remembered as some of the finest performances made in martial arts film history. Donnie Yen wasn’t always a big name martial arts star, though. In the early 90s, at the start of his career, he made a name for himself playing the lead in a number of cheesy, low budget action b-movies, including 1991’s ‘The Holy Virgin vs. The Evil Dead’. Directed by Chinese director ‘Chin-Ku Lu’, The Holy Virgin vs. The Evil Dead was billed as an ‘erotic fantasy meets martial arts’ film. That description turned out to be surprisingly accurate.
Featuring a bevy of well choreographed action scenes and a great performance from Donnie Yen, ‘The Holy Virgin vs. The Evil Dead’ is one of the best ‘versus’ movies to come out of Hong Kong. It’s a must watch for lovers of cheap and cheesy Hong Kong cinema.
Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FduP45p-o6k
Godzilla made his film debut in 1954’s Godzilla. The film, directed by Japanese cult director Ishirō Honda, saw Godzilla, a giant lizard creature created during a nuclear experiment gone wrong, terrorising the city of Tokyo and its inhabitants. Godzilla went on to become a cult icon, eventually starring in more than 28 films. 1974’s ‘Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla’ saw Godzilla doing battle with MechaGodzilla, a cybernetic alien version of Godzilla created by an evil alien race. Like most Godzilla films, Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla featured hammy acting, a cheesy script, and poorly shot action sequences complete with men in rubber suits fighting each other. The film, the 14th in the Godzilla franchise, was a huge success. It even spawned a sequel, aptly named ‘Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II’. While Godzilla fans rate it as one of the best films in the Godzilla franchise, non-fans would be wise to stay away.
Billy the Kid vs Dracula
Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’, first printed in 1897, is generally considered to be one of the greatest horror novels ever written. The novel tells the story of Dracula, an immortal vampire with an unquenchable thirst for human blood. The book was a hit and is still read by millions of readers around the world each year. ‘Billy The Kid’ was a frontier outlaw who lived in the US in the late 1800s. He was famous for committing a number of train and bank robberies in the state of New Mexico. He was also famous for his incredible shooting skills and ability to pick off targets from hundreds of meters away. ‘Billy the Kid vs Dracula’, released in 1966, pitted Dracula up against Billy the Kid in a fight to the death. Directed by William Beaudine, the film is classic b-movie fare, complete with cheap looking sets, dodgy acting, and poorly choreographed action setpieces. The film was a huge success in the 60s, and it is still beloved today as one of the finest classics in the ‘versus’ film genre.
Dahmer vs Gacy
Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy are two of the most famous, and evil, serial killers the world has ever known. Dahmer, born in 1960 in Milwaukee committed the rape and murder of 17 men in the 80s, while Gacy, born in 1942 in Chicago, killed 33 teenage boys in the mid 70s. Dahmer vs Gacy, released in 2010, saw the two serial killers fight each other in a duel to the death. The film, directed by Ford Austin, was criticised massively on release. It was also panned by critics and generally ignored by audiences around the world. It currently has a 2.5/10 rating on imdb.com.
King Kong vs. Godzilla
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tD00QguKKY
King Kong, released in 1933, was a ground breaking film. It featured state of the art special effects that blew audiences away. Today, it’s generally considered to be one of the greatest films ever made. It currently has an 8.0/10 rating on imdb.com. 1962’s ‘King Kong vs Godzilla’ saw King Kong facing off against Godzilla on the streets of Tokyo. Directed by Ishirô Honda, director of the first Godzilla movie, the film, the third instalment in the Godzilla franchise, was a huge success. Many Godzilla fans had debated who was the most powerful – King Kong or Godzilla – and the film finally answered that question. King Kong vs. Godzilla is still regarded as one of the best entries in the Godzilla franchise. A sequel is currently inproduction.
Ninjas vs Zombies
Ninjas are the ultimate badasses. They skulk around in the shadows, quietly taking out their foes without making a sound. Zombies, on the other hand, are the ultimate enemy. They never stop, they never surrender, and they never give up. ‘Ninjas vs Zombies’, released in 2008, saw a group of ninjas fighting back against a horde of evil undead looking to take over the world. On paper, Ninjas vs Zombies sounds like one of the greatest movies ever made. In practise, however, the film was terrible. Writer/director Justin Timpane’s script was poor, at best, and his action choreography was bland at the best of times. The idea was great, but the execution was poor. The film currently has a 3.3/10 rating on imdb.com.
Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies
In March, 2010, ‘Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter’, a fantasy action novel written by novelist Seth Grahame-Smith, hit bookshelves around the world. Readers instantly fell in love with Grahame-Smith’s portrayal of the great American president, and the book went on to become a New York Times Bestseller. In June, 2012, Fox Studios released their film adaptation of the book. Directed by Russian action movie legend Timur Bekmambetov, the film, starring Benjamin Walker as President Lincoln, was released to mixed reviews from critics and audiences alike. ‘The Asylum’, looking to piggyback on the film adaptation’s marketing and popularity, released their own movie, ‘Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies’, in July, 2012. Unlike the Fox Studios film which had a production budget of nearly $70 million, The Asylum ‘mockbuster’ was made for only $3 million. Starring Bill Oberst Jr. as Lincoln, the film was a disaster on every front. It featured terrible acting and directing, and a plot that made little to no sense. The film was criticised heavily by both audiences and critics. It currently has a 3.1/10 rating on imdb.com.
